Uncertainty
The last 12 months have been some of the most uncertain times in my life.
I left a full-time, high-paying career that I had envisioned as my job until retirement.
After living away from home for years, I moved back in with my family at 27.
New people have entered my life, while old friends I was sure would stick around have left.
The areas of my life that I considered anchors of my identity were not what I thought. The things I was certain of proved to be just the opposite.
Nonetheless, there has been one constant during this period, and it was something I hadn’t realized until recently:
There Is No Path Till You Walk It.
Ethan Hawke
About four months ago, I stumbled across the above video of Ethan Hawke giving a talk about creativity,
I have never studied the arts or any creative field. I’m not sure why I watched it all the way through. But looking back, I’m glad I did.
At one point, Ethan says, “There is no path till you walk it, and you have to be willing to play the fool.”
He goes on to say, “If you get close to what you love, who you are reveals itself, and it expands.”
At 10 p.m. on this random night in the middle of the week, I watched this clip over and over.
At a time when I was working through some of the biggest life decisions I’d faced to that point—questioning whether I had made the right choices—this message hit me exactly where it needed to.
The context of his message may not have been intended for my exact situation, but it resonated with me deeply every time I replayed it.
“Don’t sweat it.” “You’re not supposed to have it all together.” “Let things happen.” “It will sort itself out.”
Phrases heard often but not often internalized. Ethan’s message captured it in a way that finally made me believe it.
I had chosen to leave my previous career behind for the exact reason he spoke of: to follow my love—my love of helping people, making a difference, and creating content that others can use to help them through whatever situation they may be struggling with.
Although that has long been my dream, doubt has always crept in.
“Is it even possible?” “Would it be better to give it up and focus on a 9-to-5 career instead?” “How can I make a living in the meantime?”
The answers have never been clear, but that’s exactly the point.
Just as quickly as things can change one way, they can change in another.
My decisions have led me down many different paths, some great, some challenging, but my main focus has always remained.
Get Close To What You Love
Regardless of where I am now, or whether the decisions I’ve made were right or wrong, as long as I stay committed to the thing I love, no mistake bears too much weight. The only real wrong decision would be to give up.
Sacrifices and compromises will need to be made in the meantime, no doubt. My overall priorities may need to take a back seat for a while.
That being said, walking down a path I choose—not one I’ve been convinced into following—will forever be the right decision for me.
What’s more, that path may never materialize the way I envision it at first, and it may take twists and turns that are uncomfortable.
But the goal remains the same
If you get close to what you love, who you are reveals itself.
And:
There Is No Path Till You Walk It.
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